Immeasurable beauty

2011-04-25T08:00:00.001+08:00

shifted to http://shoot-thatlittlemonster.blogspot.com, my long forgotten blog.

2011-04-22T14:55:00.001+08:00

Where am i able to find truth and honestly?

2011-04-14T12:06:00.001+08:00

I'm in a mess, would you still want me?

It's taking her away

2011-04-13T08:54:00.003+08:00

I don't know me anymore. I have no more control over me.
What if one day you wake up only to realise that i'm not longer there for you?

With an unknown me, I caused so much destress towards you.
I've hurt your feelings countless times by doubting you. I'm sorry, love. Really sorry.

If you could see me

2011-04-11T15:51:00.000+08:00

If only you could see me. Im losing all my positivity as the days go by. I'm losing myself and I'm so sick of it. You'll never understand, you'll never ask, listen, understand and remember. I feel that i'm getting worse each day. perhaps it's because i have no one to truly listen to me. The wrong ones listen to me but the right one who could heal me, don't listen. I'm suffering really badly deep down. I feel terrible each day, I'm so afraid this will affect me so much that it'll affect my school performance when school starts. now, I don't even want to go to school. I don't have the energy to.

you secretly drain my energy away. And you don't even realise that.

tears and heartfull of sadness,
Gladys

2011-04-10T19:51:00.000+08:00

Ana and i will make me pretty.

<3 10 April 2011, 19:52

2011-04-10T19:47:00.000+08:00

Lost

2011-04-10T15:33:00.000+08:00

The last time i felt so lost like today was prolly a year ago. I feel like it's weighing down on me so badly, it's consuming all the energy an positivity i have within me. I feel so out of control of my own thoughts and emotions.

18th year

2011-04-09T08:18:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, i spent my wonderful birthday with my dearest boy.
We had a really sweet celebration, he rode a bike and i sat in front of him.
I let my imaginations run wild but i know that he's just behind me.
When i asked him and tell him my imaginations, he comforted me and assured me that nothing of
such will ever happen. He rode me up hills and down hills and rode me home in the late night too.

I don't know which other girls would love such things. But i definitely love it so so much.
I hope this last.

beyond the simple life me

2011-04-07T17:42:00.002+08:00

If only someone could see what lies beneath my life. If only my angel could free me from these misery. If only someone bother looking into my life. They would understand, my fears,
my worries and my unhappiness. If you truly know me, you wouldn't feel that
i'm annoying. If you know me, you'd be able to see the reason behind me. You would know what moulded me into the current me.

I don't feel well every single day actually. I really don't.
Can you see it? or more importantly, can you feel me?

Can you feel my anxiety, stress, fear, worries and unhappiness?
How am i going to move on forward in future?

How do i stop this?

2011-04-07T17:36:00.002+08:00

How do i stop this when i have no control over anything?
I have no control over what you do over there.

Why people like doing this?
Do they even know that you've got me?

tears and heartfull of sadness,
Gladys

2011-04-07T10:14:00.003+08:00

There's a story behind every person. There's a reason why they're the way they are.
They aren't just like that because they want to. Something in the past created them,
and sometimes it's impossible to fix them.

Crumbling

2011-04-07T09:44:00.002+08:00

I feel so troubled. I'm constantly worrying i feel like i could break down any time. My palms and feets are cold. I'm so afraid. I hope you're right here with me. Although it won't take away most of my worries, i know you're here to comfort me and tell me that everything will be alright.
You're an assurance. If only you could cuddle me now and tell me that everything
will be alright.

60 things every girl wants but won’t ask for

2011-04-07T09:12:00.000+08:00

1. Touch her waist.

2. Actually talk to her.

3. Share secrets with her.

4. Give her of your sweatshirts

5. Kiss her slowly –Are you remembering this?

6. Hug her.

7. Hold her.

8. Laugh with her.

9. Invite her somewhere.

10. Hangout with her and your friends together

11. Smile with her.

12. Take pictures with her

13. Pull her onto your lap.

14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.

15. When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it.

16. Are you thinking of someone?

17. Always hug her and say hi whenever you see her.

18. Kiss her unexpectedly.

19. Hug her from behind around the waist.

20. Tell her she’s beautiful.

21. Tell her the way you feel about her.

22. Open doors for her, walk her to her car- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.

23. Tell her she’s your everything – ONLY if you mean it.

24. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so dont keep on asking her just hug her

25. Make her feel loved.

26. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know.

27. WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE IT AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US

28. DON’T lie to her! DON’T cheat on her

29. take her ANYWHERE she wants

30. Text messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school}, and how much you MISS her

31. Be there for her whenever she needs you, & even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can ALWAYS count on you. –ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER BECAUSE, IT’S IMPORTANT

32. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold YOU too.

33. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her.

34. Kiss her on the CHEEK; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).

35. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.

36. Donâ€™t EVER tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If shes upset, comfort her.

37. When she leaves, pull her back. –REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT

38. When people DISS her, stand up for her.

39. Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her.

40. Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so you can cuddle (i think this one is most romantic tip J )

41. When walking next to each other lightly touch her HAND and softly grab it.

42. When you hug her HOLD her in your arms as LONG as possible–MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

43. Call or text her EVERY night to wish her sweet dreams.

44. Take her for LONG walks at night.

45. ALWAYS remind her how much you love her

46. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears

47. Rub her back–feels good

48. Give her your coat if she’s cold-

49. Write letters on her back with your finger

50. Let her sit on your lap

51. DON’T poke her hard…but if you want to mess around just do it lightly.

52. HOLD her HAND in PUBLIC

53. Even if she looks BAD one day tell her she’s BEAUTIFUL

54. Keep conversations flowing…talk about anything usually they just go along with it.

55. If their hair is in their face move it out of her face and then kiss her passionately and gently.

56. Surprisingly sneek up on her and hug her from behind–loves it.

57. Kiss her in the rain.(this one is my favourite … somebody listening?? )

58. Pick her up like in The Notebook and kiss her

59. Slow dance with no music

60. Don’t ignore her or be nervous around her–everythings going to be okay

Is this going to continue...

2011-04-05T14:35:00.003+08:00

Why do unfortunate things happen again and again? I have no control over so many things and i know. I know i'm just another person that has came and you probably don't know the importance of me to you. Probably not enough to satisfy your wants and hopes, or probably you're nothing different to the others that i have came across. Probably all these while, i saw the wrong you. I trust the wrong you and the sincerity that i thought you had.

I hoped you see my effort. I hoped you feel this heart i have. I conquered my desires, because i know, you were someone too important to be hurt. I have no idea how to differentiatee the truth and the lie. But i know that things definitely happen for a reason. Perhaps today, made me realise that i'm not really a somebody to you. Probably made today to make me realise that i'm that... weak and make me realise that i've got to stand up again and only depend on myself.
Probably make me realise that, i haven't been loving myself much enough. Or probably, making me realise that no one has ever cared about how i am going to react and all along, it was me that cared about how you're going to react.

I'm sorry that i haven't been right.

Although i'm always saying that everyone is beautiful. But i have my tough times too. I feel like a loser, who constantly tries to encourage people like me and those who constantly faces problems. But when it comes to me, I feel so helpless. I crumble upon any sadness that i'm faced with. I let you see the weak side of me when i shouldn't.

To you who once called me a loser, i am. I am a loser.

What are words if you don't really mean them when you say them

2011-04-01T17:02:00.000+08:00

Well, what happened to your ... ... " i'll go toilet and sms you ."

2011-04-01T00:20:00.001+08:00

“I hope someday someone holds you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do, they don’t pull away, they don’t look at your face, they don’t try to kiss you. They just wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.”

To live each day confidently

2011-03-29T19:39:00.000+08:00

To those who feels really lousy about yourself,

Don't be. Because you're really beautiful just the way you are. I am struggling with having to convince myself that. But i'm never going to give up.

Beauty is beyond what can be seen on the surface. Those images you see on magazine covers and television, they have all been photoshopped before. Have some faith in yourself and soon, you'll realise how much happier you'll feel with each passing day. In the past, I looked at the mirror and felt that I wasn't at all beautiful. But i underestimated the capacity of a smile. It definitely help to smile to yourself the moment you wake up.

Don't say you're not beautiful enough or not beautiful at all. Because you know? you'll always be beautiful to someone, your mum, your dad, and your future soul mate.

To the low self esteem

2011-03-24T12:36:00.000+08:00

To those who sufferes each minute, to those who struggles to live each day.
Watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

Meaningful Saturday Night

2011-03-20T18:42:00.000+08:00

All along, I have never truly understand the true meaning of beauty, although I know that beauty is skin deep, I refuse to accept the fact that I am beautiful. I can tell many people around me that they are beautiful so that they wouldn't feel aweful about themself. I can assure them how wonderful they look, how their smiles brighten up peoples' day, but I can never truly tell myself that. Although i know that deep within me I hold little hatred and greed, I can never see the beauty that i own. And when i'm out on the streets, I look at the others and tell myself how beautiful they are when in fact, i do not know their character. I made myself feel lousy all day.

Last night, I seeked personal guidance from one my senior in faith. And that is when i am determined that then and there, it'll be the turning point of my life. I finally opened myself up to someone who at least understand how I have been feeling. I have never been in such a low life condition before. Probably no others can really know what i meant by being in a low life condition. When i mean being in a low life condition, it isn't just simply feeling sad. In fact, it's a misery and a struggle to overcome each minute of my life.

When I was seated down with her. I couldn't find a way to bring my problem across to her. I had difficulty piecing each word into sentences. Then, I told myself that I have to tell someone who could truly understand this misery. That wonderful lady, made me understand that beauty is immeasurable. She made me understand that i have to be around people who love me for me. I'm young and at this age, it is perfectly normal to feel insecure and the only way for others to love me is to first love myself. I know it'll take a long time for me to feel better about myself. But i'll definitely achieve victory as i pass each day with a more positive thinking than the day before.

Hi

2011-03-20T17:12:00.001+08:00

Probably the turning point in my life.